SpongeBarak SquarePants

Today a Louisiana federal judge overturned the President's 6 month moratorium on offshore drilling deeper than 500 feet.

Many people have called this moratorium "illogical", maybe a "knee-jerk reaction", and even "[a] one way ticket to a double-dip recession". While these claims may be true (who am I to judge), they show a complete lack of understanding as to why the White House imposed this on the already suffering state of Louisiana and an industry that his actions have shown he's not too fond of; SpongeBob SquarePants.

We know the President has two younger daughters, who most likely watch one of the most popular shows on TV (I even watch the show, and I'm not ashamed). You may say this proves nothing, and has absolutely nothing to do with the Executive branch's energy policies. I offer my argument below...

We know that SpongeBob lives in a pineapple under the sea, also where the wreckage of Deepwater Horizon and ruptured well lie. SpongeBob and his friend Patrick are living the "green" lifestyle that has been publicized and endorsed so much. What is more green than living under a rock or in a house made out of a giant fruit? SpongeBob never criticized the government, and his fast food restaurant is obviously not in a low-income area since the only other building ever in sight is the "Chum Bucket".

Still not convinced?

Have you ever seen a gas-station in SpongeBob? Vehicles don't need oil underwater (let alone any type of fuel after intensely studying the show) and can still move freely while still creating that satisfying sound of an internal combustion engine. You just have to have the audacity to believe and never question the logic.

I've even assembled a cast of characters:
SpongeBob: Barak, always the star
Patrick (dimwitted starfish that is SpongeBob's best friend, as well as has some strange influence on SB's decisions): Timothy Geithner (a more dimwitted star)
Sandy (much more intelligent, experienced member that beats SpongeBob except when it counts): Hillary
Squidward (always voicing his loathing of SpongeBob): United States Army General Stanley McChrystal
Mr. Krabs (SpongeBob's boss, whom he never questions): Michelle O.
Jellyfish (mindless, pack-dwelling wild animals that have supported Sponge in certain occasions): College students
Plankton (The pure-evil antagonist in the show): Those evil oil coporations, the healthcare industry, and a logical energy policy

Master of steel and mud

I feel that I should let my readers know that I am indeed the master of steel and mud. I just successfully 'downlinked' to one of our tools 15,000+ feet underground. What is this 'downlink' business? I'll fill you in, so you too can drop nifty/nerdy terms.

Downlinking is the process of changing the flowrate in a controlled,sequential manner such that the tool is capable of recognizing the change and altering its downhole behavior. In short, I varied the flowrate of the mud pumps to tell the tool to do something totally different. No electrical wires or wireless connections; just myself, mud pumps, and drilling mud. Awesome.

Uh oh, an actual update!

Well hey there readers,
How are you today? I'm still on the slope; finishing up my third week since my arrival on the 18th of May.

The slope landscape has been changing drastically since I've been up here. When I arrived, snow still covered everything in creation up here. However, each day more of it melts. How much? I drove to work one day and looked over what I thought to be a barren field covered in snow. However, whilst driving back to the rig camp at the conclusion of my shift, the snow had melted enough to reveal a sizable river. Yes, an actual river.

Various ponds, wetlands, and topographical formations are now visible, emerging from the blanket of snow that covered them all. There are quite a few birds that enjoy this, as well as caribou and muskox.

Many have asked what a muskox is, and to them I say: a hairy cow. They move slow, eat all day, and love to lay down on roads at the worst times. During the rig crews change-out, a herd of muskox decided to cross the road. We thought this to be a temporary situation, until several of them laid down. We, oilfield workers, are not allowed to disturb the wildlife in any way, fashion, or form. When a duck crosses the road, all trucks stop at a distance and let the duck meander around until it finally flies off. The same is true with muskox, and bears. Yes, when a bear is on the pad or near people you can't disturb it. The only time one may disturb wildlife is if it is in self-defense or defense of another person; even then there is a possible fine to be paid.