SpongeBarak SquarePants

Today a Louisiana federal judge overturned the President's 6 month moratorium on offshore drilling deeper than 500 feet.

Many people have called this moratorium "illogical", maybe a "knee-jerk reaction", and even "[a] one way ticket to a double-dip recession". While these claims may be true (who am I to judge), they show a complete lack of understanding as to why the White House imposed this on the already suffering state of Louisiana and an industry that his actions have shown he's not too fond of; SpongeBob SquarePants.

We know the President has two younger daughters, who most likely watch one of the most popular shows on TV (I even watch the show, and I'm not ashamed). You may say this proves nothing, and has absolutely nothing to do with the Executive branch's energy policies. I offer my argument below...

We know that SpongeBob lives in a pineapple under the sea, also where the wreckage of Deepwater Horizon and ruptured well lie. SpongeBob and his friend Patrick are living the "green" lifestyle that has been publicized and endorsed so much. What is more green than living under a rock or in a house made out of a giant fruit? SpongeBob never criticized the government, and his fast food restaurant is obviously not in a low-income area since the only other building ever in sight is the "Chum Bucket".

Still not convinced?

Have you ever seen a gas-station in SpongeBob? Vehicles don't need oil underwater (let alone any type of fuel after intensely studying the show) and can still move freely while still creating that satisfying sound of an internal combustion engine. You just have to have the audacity to believe and never question the logic.

I've even assembled a cast of characters:
SpongeBob: Barak, always the star
Patrick (dimwitted starfish that is SpongeBob's best friend, as well as has some strange influence on SB's decisions): Timothy Geithner (a more dimwitted star)
Sandy (much more intelligent, experienced member that beats SpongeBob except when it counts): Hillary
Squidward (always voicing his loathing of SpongeBob): United States Army General Stanley McChrystal
Mr. Krabs (SpongeBob's boss, whom he never questions): Michelle O.
Jellyfish (mindless, pack-dwelling wild animals that have supported Sponge in certain occasions): College students
Plankton (The pure-evil antagonist in the show): Those evil oil coporations, the healthcare industry, and a logical energy policy